


you'll learn to love again

by BitterSweetHeat



Category: Paladins: Champions Of The Realm (Video Game)
Genre: Accidental confession through self-loathing, Also Kinda OOC but it's whatever, Also the realization of said confession through self-loathing, And a kiss to seal the deal aw yea boi, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author also is terrible at writing and understanding love, Domestic Fluff, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Spill your feelings....OK uh...Terminus spill fewer feeling than that before you- alright nevermind., The Author didn't know what she was doing the whole time, This is me trying to figure out how many times can I use Italics and get away with it, This is so bad Alexa play Despacito, i think..., very light angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-06-05 03:57:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15162074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterSweetHeat/pseuds/BitterSweetHeat
Summary: A small fanfic based off of a comic that I never finished and probably never will(edit: Title change whoops based off of Love again by PTX)





	1. Chapter 1

Mal’damba woke up with a slight stir. The last thing he remembers is falling asleep on the beach, so how did he end up here? Mal looked towards the edge of the bed, only to find Terminus sitting on the edge of the bed. Or rather, on the floor near the bed. They had become mutual friends, as Wekono insisted that they should. Mal honestly liked him. Well, really(Italics) liked him. Even though he’d hate to admit it, he somewhat had a crush on Terminus. There was something about guys that towered over Mal that made them attractive to him. Besides, Terminus wasn’t mean, he was just…very intimidating. Never the less, Terminus was very interesting, telling Mal stories about himself before he died.  
“So, you finally woke up?”  
“I guess…” Mal’damba leaned forward to look at Terminus, who stood up. Mal sat up and stretched, a soft cracking noise coming from his back.  
“You can sit down if you want to.”  
Terminus hesitated for a second, but walked over anyway and sat next to Mal’damba with a soft plop. They sat there for a while in silence, appreciating each other's company. After a few minutes, Mal'damba got up to get himself something to drink. He walked to his kitchen, Terminus deciding to follow behind him. He was usually used to following orders, but ever since gaining some control over himself, Terminus had been enjoying it. Well, as much as he could. He thought he honestly didn't deserve to be alive, let alone be free. Terminus was undoubtedly thankful for Mal'damba since without him he was pretty sure he would've still been the Magistrate's tool. Terminus thought he should show his gratitude somehow.  
"Hey, Mal?"  
Mal'damba glanced over his shoulder as he got a water bottle out the fridge. Terminus walked closer to him, hoping that what he was going to do would be enough. He stood behind Mal, knelt down slightly, and tugged gently at Mal'damba's shoulder, causing him to turn around completely.  
"Terminus...? What are you-"  
He was cut short by arms being wrapped around his shoulders. It confused him for a second, but then he realized.  
Terminus was hugging him.  
_Holy shit._  
Now, Mal'damba is not one to get flustered. Not by a long shot, and even if he did, it wasn't by a lot. _But this_. This was so out of character for Terminus, it was somewhat shocking when it happened. but, It was shocking enough for Mal'damba to still freeze. After a second, He retaliated, wrapping his arms around Terminus.  
"I just wanted to thank you for everything. I am very grateful towards you."  
Those words _certainly_ threw Mal'damba for a loop. They were friends, yeah, but Terminus didn't honestly talk much. This felt so... _different_. Mal enjoyed this small moment.  
But, every beginning has an end, and just like that, Terminus let go.  
At that moment, they looked at each other.  
"Well... I'm glad you feel that way. but, I am a bit surprised you shared that with me."  
Terminus shrugged. "Well, I trust you. You're close to me."  
_Close?!?_ Never has Mal'damba been more confused in his life. Did he really consider them... close? Not like he was complaining, but still.  
"You..consider me close?"  
"Yeah. Wouldn't you consider us close, too?"  
"Yes, of course."  
He wishes that he could consider them more than close, but that's far from possible. He was sure Terminus forgot everything, including how to love. Plus, he was sure Terminus is straight. He wasn't really trying to find out anyway, figuring that it would pop up sooner or later.  
Little did he know, it would be sooner than expected.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhum... I finally realized how to finish this part of the story...onlytookme4monthsbutlisten-

At sunset, they went for a walk along Frog Isle. The place was beautiful, but even more so at night. The moon would end up in just the ideal position to light up most of the  
place. Frog Isle was also slightly chilly, which was ideal weather for both Terminus and Mal'damba.

As they walked along the pathway, they talked about nothing essential. However, the atmosphere was weird. Both Mal'Damba and Terminus could tell when something was bothering the other. But this time they could both tell that something was off. Was that bad? Not really. At that point, they were talking about life before the crystal war, when they stopped at the frog waterfall. Mal'damba turned to Terminus, who was looking out into the distance. The crystals in him glowed, which lit up his face a tint of purple in the night. He looked calm, almost hypnotized of sorts. It wasn't the kind of hypnotized like when he fought for the Magistrate, oh no, it was more like he wanted to stay like this. Almost like he remembered his past life.

Terminus seemed to notice that Mal'damba was looking at him even though he was looking out in the distance.

"Do you want to sit down with me?"

"I'd love too."

So they found a spot on the shore of the island and sat down. The ocean below them was almost silent. It was practically as if they were the only ones on earth, almost like nothing else existed at this moment. They both felt calm for the first time in a while. Terminus turned to face Mal'damba.

"Could you lift your mask for a second?"

Lift his mask? For what reason? He'd seen Mal without his mask before, so it's not like it would be a surprise to him. Despite being skeptical, he took off his mask. His face was nothing extraordinary besides a few markings around his cheeks to signify that he's Wekono's chosen, and of course, the abnormal green eyes. Suddenly, Mal'damba noticed that Terminus seemed closer than he was a few seconds ago. Not by a massive amount, but big enough for Mal'damba to notice. However, he decided not to bring it up, assuming that he was trying to get a closer look at his face. Not like he minded it, anyway.

"Why did you want me to take my mask off?"

"I wanted to see the markings on your face. They're interesting."

Mal'damba only nodded in response. No one has ever told him the markings on his face were interesting. He took it as a compliment.

"Look at me?"

Mal'damba turned his head so that Terminus could see his whole face. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a hand come up to his cheek. Instinctively, Mal'damba flinched away. While he wasn't self-conscious, he didn't necessarily like people touching his face. It was just a personal preference. His reaction, however, merely caused Terminus to let out a slight chuckle.

"Relax. I'm not going to hurt you."

Mal'damba obviously knew that, but the reassurance helped a bit. Besides, Terminus wasn't a monster. At least, not anymore. Could he become one again? There was a possibility... if the Magistrate concluded that they wanted to control him again. There wasn't a significant chance that they would since they don't like traitors, _but then again_ , they used to consider Terminus an essential weapon. Mal'damba thought harder than he should've about this. What if the Magistrate _did_ decide to control him again? What would happen then? It worried Mal'damba to think about it, and Terminus could tell something was up.

"Something wrong? You started to look worried when I told you to relax."

"Nothing. Just thinking about some stuff."

"Anything in particular?"

Mal just stayed silent for a second.

"...tell me."

"It's just, sometimes, I wonder whether the Magistrate will decide that they want to use you again..."

They've talked about this before, but every time Mal would voice his concerns about it, Terminus would say the same thing. "Don't worry about me," Then they would just carry  
on.

This time, however, he said something different. Something ticked inside him.

"Stop worrying, the Magistrate wouldn't do that. If they agree that someone isn't worth fighting for them anymore, they'll execute them. But I'm unique. They _want_ me to live. They know I'm suffering, which is what they want. They realized that I felt horrible for killing dozens, hundreds, if not thousands of individuals, which is one reason they made me immortal. They like to see people suffer. "

Mal'damba could tell that Terminus was furious. Not just at the Magistrate, but at himself. He grew upset with himself a lot, blaming himself for everything that has transpired so far. Mal'damba hated seeing him like this.

"Calm down, Terminus."

Terminus shot upward, fists clenched.

"I can't calm down! They're waiting for me to do something else I'll regret just so they can use it against me somehow."  
He paused for a moment.

"They're waiting for me to hurt someone again that I love, Mal'damba! They're waiting for me to hurt _you_!"

The silence that came after that moment was unnerving. It was as if that timeless moment before had caught up and hit them like a truck. It took Mal'damba a second to process what he had just said. It seemed that Terminus, however, didn't really recognize what he said. He really felt the same way? While Mal was certainly glad, this wasn't  
really the way he expected to admit it.

"Terminus, look at me."

Terminus turned to him, still trying to get over his self-loathing outburst. Mal'damba beckoned him closer, so Terminus knelt down to meet him face to face. He felt a pair of bony hands cup his face and looked Mal'damba in his eyes.

"Do you know what you just told me?"

Terminus tilted his head slightly and blinked in confusion for a couple of seconds, recalling what he had just said. Stop worrying about him, the Magistrate likes to watch him suffer, they're waiting for him to mess up and hurt someone else he loves-

_Oh shit_

His facial went from confused to slight shock from the realization. He was used to hiding what little feelings he had, so how did he manage to slip up that bad? Given that most of his feelings were frustration and anger, and sometimes his frustrations were caused by a feeling that he believed that he forgot long ago. It only occurred to him when he felt the need to protect Mal'damba, even when he knew that Wekono could protect him herself, that maybe his feelings were a little more than thankfulness. He knew he didn't necessarily need to, but he just wanted to. He wasn't really meant to do that, only meant to fight.

"I didn't mean to say any of that out loud."

"That's fine, but did you mean the last part of it? "

It took terminus a second to reply.

"...yes."

Mal'damba let out a small smile, showing off his teeth a bit. They were...sharp, like snake fangs in a way. He took his hands off of Terminus' face and placed them on the  
ground. Terminus was still shocked, but he was a bit curious about how Mal'damba would react.

"Let's just say the feelings are mutual."

Terminus couldn't really do much but hum quietly and nod his head in acknowledgment and slight approval. It wasn't really the answer he was expecting. Then again, he really didn't know what he expected. He did, however, he did have one question.

"Why?"

"Hm?"

"Out of all the people, and you decided to like a monster...why?"

Mal'damba had no answer. Yeah, Terminus had killed people, but he was only standing up for what he believed is right. After his death? Well, he was only forced to.

"Most of it isn't your fault. Before your death, you were only fighting for what you believed was right. You know, the Magistrate wasn't necessarily a good group of people  
either."

" And what about after my death?"

" That doesn't matter right now. What I'm trying to say is that both Wekono and I felt bad for you at first. As time went on, I warmed up to you, and eventually, I realized that I love you."

Terminus didn't really expect Mal'damba to say those words to him. He wasn't taken aback by it, it was just...well, he hadn't heard those words in a long time. He didn't really  
know how to respond.

"Well, as I've said before, I'm really thankful for you, as well."

Mal'dmaba already knew that meant something along the line of "I love you too." It was close enough for him. They both decided that it was pretty late, so they stood up and started to walk back to Mal'damba's house. They were fairly quiet on the way back, but Terminus remembered something.

"Hey, Mal?"

"Hm?"

" I heard you baby-talking your snake a few days ago. Do you do that often when you think I'm not around? "

"Shut. It."

Terminus let a genuine laugh for the first time in what felt like forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can explain.....no no I can't actually
> 
> Sorry I stopped writing for approx. 4 months but I totally didn't expect this story to reach around 2k words so er...yeah. And my Laptop is still out for repairs and when you can't draw, you write I guess. I don't know, feel like I should leave the writing to others and just stick to art but I had fun and that's all that matters. I think?
> 
> An alternate title to this would've been "Self-loathing but oops it's gay" but I decided against it lol


	3. Quick note (◠‿◠✿)

This is just a quick thing BUT If you wanna know they met then I made long HC Thing on my Tumblr [HERE](https://peachysweetheat.tumblr.com/post/180713183769/how-maldamba-and-terminus-met-because)

Also about this story, I have started another chapter on it, but I honestly don't know when exactly I will finish it or when it will be posted. It's probably gonna be the longest one btw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more thing, keep an eye on my Tumblr because I'm planning on posting another scenario type thing of Mal'damba and Terminus for Christmas in the next couple of weeks so... ;)

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my first fanfictions so be gentle :v


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